In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
