Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it hurts more in the daytime
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
