Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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