i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
