Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
