I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
