Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
