For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
