just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
