There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
