OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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