he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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