it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
