you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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