I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Boobs are out for the taking
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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