i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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