No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
