remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
