I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
