To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Too much gin, very little bucket
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
