Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
