im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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