The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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