Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
