Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
