Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I won't apologize to a one balled man
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
