your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I AM VODKA MAN
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
