I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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