If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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