How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
