Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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