I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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