I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
