mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
