and she was petting her beer can
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
