Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
