So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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