New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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