what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
