we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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