school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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