Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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