so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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