Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
