i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
