I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
