The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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