margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
