you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize