you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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