Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
