I puked a lego.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
