There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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