We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
