I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
