im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
