Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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