Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
