I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
