I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
