She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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