new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
