I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
