He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
