You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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