Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
