Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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