You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
