Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
