I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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